Cal's review of
Fantastic Four 2: Rise of Silver Surfer (2007)

Overall grade: B+ There are lots of cons but they are minor. PROS: I heard that FF was going to be the kids movie for Marvel Comics. Leaving Spidey and X-Men to be for adults. But FF2 was not kiddie. There were no Ewoks, Jar Jar, nor pod racers. There was no blood and gore, but no Disney BS neither. No IceAge or ToyStory or Shrek lessons-about-life crap. The one-liners (jokes) weren't bad either. Stuck to Marvel history with Dr. Doom stealing Silver Surfer's power, and board. However, back in the 1960's, when Doom jumped on Silver Surfer's board, it looked really goofy. It wasn't so bad in the FF2 movie. And Doom now hates all the FF, including Sue Storm. Making her Doom's love interest in the first movie was weak. Get to see a semi-nude Jessica Alba. And hot bar skanks at Reed Richard's bachelor party. In the comics Silver Surfer fell for the kindness of Alicia Masters (Thing/Ben's gf). Switching that to Invisible Woman was okay. Movie had the traditional FF storyline of ending/disbanding the FF. Avengers come and go, X-Men were always dying or quitting, but losing an FF member was big stuff. This was a reoccuring theme in the 1970s and 80s: the Thing would threaten to walk out, Sue was pregnant or wanted to be a mom fulltime, or Reed Richards was getting burnt out. And someone leaving would mean the end of the FF. The movie had a little of this. The moviemakers actually read my mind. When Johnny and Sue Storm were talking before the wedding I said to myself, "Wouldn't it be great if they hinted at some back story about the Storm's crazy/powerful father." And bam. Johnny says, "Dad would have been proud." Johnny's one-liner at the wedding was not the same as in the trailer. I liked this because I hate it when trailers give away all the good stuff. Sue's Reed-you-work-too-much tension was there. I can see her falling for Prince Namor in another movie. Silver Surfer was an enigma. The movie did not give away his whole origin and life. The Surfer talked very little. And he was kinda weird looking too. It would have been bad if he looked like a baywatch hunk. The Fantastic Car was great, but the product placement was gay. Johnny's impression of the Super Skrull was kinda fun. Didn't kill the Silver Surfer. Maybe he's trapped in/around Earth now, like in the comics. We got a glimpse of Frankie Ray, Johnny's gf. Will she become the next herald of Galactus ala John Byrne's great FF run. CONS: More story, than action. Some people might like this. Did the Thing even clobber one single person? I want to see the Big G in his big helmet. And his big planet-eaten machines. Not some dirty cosmic dust cloud. And Galactus might be tricked or persuaded to leave Earth alone, but no one is gonna force him to leave. Yeah, I know actor Julian McMahon is handsome, but Dr. Doom has gotta have his mask, disfigurement, and armor. Silver Surfer should be nearly invincible. His only weakness is his naive nature. He ain't gonna get tied up by no army soldiers. Tachyon pulse!?! Isn't that a Star Trek Cmdr Data idea? Surfer's power comes from his board!?! We don't need that perversion. For ole times sake I wanted lines and a fin on the Silver Surfer's board, along with underwear lines on his body ala artist John Buscema. At the end, before turning on Galactus, he should have cried out, "To me, my board." Lawrence Fishburn voice was okay, but it was not dubbed right. The voice seemed to come from offscreen and not from the Surfer's mouth. The FF need lots of villains to fight, not one or two. They need to battle Namor and the Atlantean army, or Moleman and his minions, or hundreds of Inhumans, or a battalion of Skrulls, maybe even the Circus of Crime and their rubes. If Dr. Doom comes back, he better have two dozen robots with him. Doom was always a masterful robot builder in the comics. I don't wanna see the FF fight a huge ferris wheel. I want a big Thing: 9-10 ft tall and weighing half a ton. They gotta use CGI or more foam. The FF movie Thing would not last 10 seconds against the huge CGI movie Hulk. The actor, Michael Chiklis, we all love could still do the voice. Stan Lee cameos are getting old. Not at all classy like Hitchcock did. Nuff said.

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